Human energy and psychological blocks. How to get rid of them? Method for independent work

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Psychologists are specialists who help us solve problems, overcome fears and understand ourselves so that we feel calm. However, they are also people and, like all of us, are subject to stress, which needs to be dealt with somehow.

website will tell you about the methods of quick stress relief, which are used by professionals themselves.

1. Write down everything that comes to mind.

Psychotherapist, writer and teacher Geoffrey Sumber(Jeffrey Sumber) uses several aesthetic ways to deal with stress:

“When I'm nervous, I like to eat well. But it must be a healthy food or a new dish for me. I go shopping for a long time, choosing the right ingredients, then carefully cut them, prepare dressings and slowly, with pleasure, eat the dish. And I often post the result on Facebook so that my friends envy me!”

3. Tighten all the muscles

American psychotherapist Kevin Chapman(Kevin Chapman) uses the method of progressive muscle relaxation, which was developed back in 1920, to deal with stress.

The principle is simple: after any strong tension comes a strong relaxation. That is, you need to strain the muscles for 10 seconds, and then 20 seconds to concentrate on the subsequent feeling of relaxation.

In total, 200 exercises were developed for all muscle groups, but it is quite enough to use 16. Find exercises and.

4. React right or don't react at all

Psychologist Susan Krauss Whitbourne(Susan Krauss Whitbourne) does not fight stress, but tries to avoid it in advance. To do this, she has a mantra that she repeats when she gets into a stressful situation. She says, "I can't change the situation, but I can change how I react to it."

A positive reaction to a negative event helps not only to avoid stress, but also to gain some experience, if you look at it as a test, and learn from mistakes.

5. Stop the flow of thoughts

Psychologist Martin Seligman(Martin Seligman) advises using one simple and very popular way to get rid of unnecessary thoughts from your head.

Clap your hands and shout " Stop! I'll think about it later!". You can also wear a rubber band around your wrist and flick yourself with it (or just pinch yourself). Use such stimuli to stop the cycle of thoughts and postpone the problem until later, for a certain time. Then try to switch your attention to some unusual object or activity.

6. Set aside 1 hour for your favorite activity and pleasure

Psychotherapist Amy Przeworski(Amy Przeworski) advises to set aside a period of time during which you will do only what you want. Read, draw, eat delicious food - in general, do what gives you pleasure. No work, no responsibilities, no negative thoughts and everything that you don't like and spoils your mood.

7. Stimulate the nerves

An unusual but effective method based on physiology is offered by a therapist Tony Bernhard(Toni Bernard). Swipe your index finger lightly over your lips several times. This movement engages the nerves on the surface of the lips, stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, and helps you calm down quickly.

8. Try different classic methods

Of course, there are classic methods of stress relief and tension relief that work just as well.

For example, a clinical psychologist and author of Living with Depression Deborah Serani(Deborah Serani) in times of stress tries to give the body what it wants. “I use everything that touches the senses. For example, I can just sit in the car and listen to jazz on the radio, draw, lie in a hot bath or enjoy delicious gourmet tea.”

) uses yoga, sports or just healthy sleep to cleanse the head.

Main principle

The main principle of getting rid of stress is to completely abstract for some time from the problem and from any source of excitement. And the better you do it, the faster you will recover and be ready for new challenges.

What is your favorite way to deal with stress? Maybe you have your own unique method?

Dear readers, today we will talk about what constitutes a psychological dependence on a person. You will learn how to determine if you have this pathological attachment. You will know how to overcome this condition.

Degree of affection

Household. A person gets used to a certain standard of living, its conditions and comfort.
Conditional. Attachment to the object, manifested by the desire to receive emotional impressions, positive and joy.
Painful, rigid, neurotic attachment is when the thought that the object of addiction can disappear from your life leads to strong pain and terrible fear.
Intrusive. A person completely forgets about himself, his needs, completely depends on the submission of the will of another individual.

Causes

The child can fill all the mother's free time, requires her submission. When he grows up, he resorts to frequent manipulations. The mother becomes dependent on the child. A grown-up baby will not be able to give, he will only be ready to receive.
A child who has not received the development of willpower, also personal qualities, sees the meaning of his life in attachment to someone self-sufficient.
Having low self-esteem.
The formation of children's complexes that lead to the development of false fears and dependence on them.
People whose childhood was attended by parents' overprotection or their strong control. The kid was not allowed to make his own mistakes, there was no opportunity to make independent decisions.
The presence in the child's life of more criticism, no praise from parents.
Disrespectful attitude of mom and dad to their baby.
The desire to justify someone's expectations, the desire to become better, to become ideal for someone.
The opinion that love is an obligation to divide everything in half, after some time, is replaced by the absorption of the needs of a partner, the inability to assess one's needs.
The desire to be part of the life of another purposeful independent person.
The desire to be subordinated to someone powerful, authoritarian, a person reminiscent of a parent who kept him under control in childhood.

signs

Dependence on another person is manifested by the presence of a number of characteristic features.

All thoughts are directed to the desire to meet the object of desire. A person thinks to the detriment of his opinion, his interests, lives for the sake of another.
There are cardinal changes in behavior, as well as the worldview of a person. There may be mood swings, up to depression. Even small contacts with the object of affection cause an outburst of an emotional nature, a prolonged absence of meetings leads to severe despondency.
After a certain time, there is a loss of personal boundaries. Chronic stress can develop, due to the accumulation of pain, suffering and anxiety. Positive emotions from meetings gradually fade away, there is a need for total control.
There is a strong craving to be near the object of addiction, which often leads to rejection on his part.
There is an increase in tension and increased anxiety, panic attacks may occur. Depending on how severe the symptoms are, the depth of the mental disorder will be determined.
Physiological abnormalities occur. A person experiences dizziness, sleep worsens, the heart works intermittently, chronic diseases worsen, and neurological symptoms occur.
A person becomes unable to make ordinary decisions, cannot make a choice without knowing what the object of dependence thinks about this.
Unable to independently set goals and achieve them. There is infantilism, a desire to follow someone else's instructions.
Believes that relationships with mental suffering are natural.

A person with addiction is not able to live an ordinary life, absolute dependence on the opinions and pointers of the object of adoration. Personality is completely lost, a person degrades, cannot develop.

Fighting methods

It is necessary to sensibly assess the object of adoration for its merits and demerits. To do this, you need to take off your rose-colored glasses and write down all the negative traits on a piece of paper, realizing their negative impact on your life. At the initial stage, it will seem to you that it is ideal. Then you will find flaws, but they will seem insignificant. Over time, the realization will come that a person is far from ideal, it was you who endowed him with such positive qualities.
Destroy everything that reminds you of the object of addiction, photographs, gifts, personal items.
End any relationship with mutual friends. You will have a desire to know the latest news from the life of the object of addiction, attachment will not go anywhere.
To make it easier to drive thoughts about the object of addiction out of your head, you need to devote all your free time to some kind of occupation. You can enroll in a sports section, do needlework, meet friends - do everything to keep yourself busy with something else.
If the addiction is caused by self-doubt, low self-esteem, go to the stylist, get a new hairstyle, if necessary, start going to the gym. You will begin to transform and see how other people pay attention to you, the possibility of new acquaintances will appear. You will realize that you deserve better. In addition to appearance, you can engage in self-development, sign up for specialized courses, for example, in learning a foreign language. You will begin to rejoice in your successes and will no longer be so strongly attached to the object of addiction.
It is important to choose the right motivation, it is desirable that there is a need to complete tasks that increase self-esteem and bring positive to life. In this case, it is better that the time to achieve your goals does not take much time. For example, you can plan to buy a car or travel.

First of all, the dependent person must be aware of his problem. It is important that he has a desire to fight it.
It is necessary to determine the factors that influenced the development of such a disorder. In some cases, people can figure them out on their own and overcome them. For example, a strong dependence on the opinion of parents is fueled by the manifestation of their overprotectiveness, dependence on friends is fueled by low self-esteem and self-doubt.
It is important to learn how to perceive the world around you correctly. A person must understand that there is serious work on his personality and regular self-development.
It is necessary to reassess your worldview, stop idealizing the object of your addiction. It is also important to overcome perfectionist tendencies if there is a desire to be perfect. It is extremely important to eliminate stereotypical thinking and think about personal needs.
Give up manipulation, you don’t need to get what you want from others in this way.
Realize that you need to make plans for the future. At the same time, focus on yourself, and not on someone else.
No need to hide your true feelings and emotions. People who really care about you will always understand. As for the object of addiction - if he starts to show indifference, then he has no place in your life.
Draw the boundary of personal space, reveal it to loved ones. Do not invade it to avoid conflicts and misunderstandings.
Expand your social circle. New relationships, acquaintances will not only allow you to escape from your obsession, but also accelerate personal growth.
Feel the balance between the environment and your inner world.

Precautionary measures

If a person is aware of his tendency to develop attachment or realizes that he has low self-esteem, then a number of actions must be followed that will help prevent the development of psychological dependence on people.

Rejoice in everything that surrounds you, enjoy the sun outside the window, the smiles of a passerby, the flood of domestic animals, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. You must see the positive in everything, even where, at first glance, there is none.
Every morning should start with a smile on your face. You have to program yourself to have a good day.
Be glad that you have relatives, friends, colleagues near you. Understand that other people may not.
Your colloquial speech should always contain phrases like “everything is for the best,” “it’s good that it happened,” and not negative exclamations.
Increase your level of independence, paint your daily routine, stick to it. Try. Be sure to reward yourself for your accomplishments. Always engage in self-development, learn new things, gain skills, learn.

Now you know what psychological and physical dependence on a person can be. It is important to understand that people should remember their needs, their autonomy and independence. No need to obey someone else's desires and think about someone more than about yourself. In addition, it is necessary to understand that often the object of addiction does not even notice this desire.

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Many effective methods have been written about how to get rid of resentment towards a person, from complex psychotherapeutic ones to those that can be carried out independently at home. The relevance of the topic is constant, because. this is one of the heavy feelings, and not acute, experienced by an affect, after which there is a release, but toxic, interfering with the normal course of life. Resentment can show through in all statements, leave an imprint on further interaction, spoiling relationships even when the offender is not directly notified of his misconduct and may be in the dark and confident of a wonderful relationship.

If you disassemble this feeling, then the complexity of the work is due to the fact that it is anger, aggression at the wrong attitude, unacceptable actions, but stopped by love. When you don’t want to destroy meaningful relationships or turn on active confrontation so as not to hurt the other, all negativity is locked inside. She never refers to ordinary passers-by and unfamiliar people, because there is no love and affection there, translating aggression into resentment.

Simple practices on how to get rid of feelings of resentment come down to restoring balance. In essence, this experience occurs when we try to demand the attitude due to us, whether it be respect, a gift, time spent together, or the absence of offensive words. To stop manipulating a sour expression and small reproaches, you will have to turn on and admit to your own, which it does not receive critically in interaction, but the person himself is still of great value.

As soon as the presence of resentment is recognized, it no longer controls feelings and can be controlled, and the more clearly it is drawn, the better, therefore it is recommended to write down who and specifically for what you were offended that such a terrible person did. It helps to ascribe next to what you are waiting for to make you feel better - an apology, a gift, a change in lifestyle, and perhaps you will understand that the person did not want to do harm. If it is not possible to find satisfying ways of redemption, then we are talking about non-constructive behavior, because if it is an insult to a fact, then it can be forgiven, and what cannot be redeemed cannot be endured. Often resentment can arise as a childish reaction to the dissatisfaction of whims, and only responsibility, and not attempts to beat one's happiness out of others, fills one emotionally.

How to get rid of resentment towards people? Psychological tricks are instead of cultivating negativity inside, talk to a person, if it is still possible. As long as you put yourself in the position of being offended, this creates a false sense of power that you are owed, in reality, mature relationships are built on interaction and clarification. After talking, you can understand the motives of his actions and it is possible to see development in this for yourself. It happens that different principles of communication can be interpreted differently, and the meaning was only in misunderstanding. Having stumbled upon the fact that a person really hurt you and is going to do the same further, then you have a unique chance to get out of a destructive relationship, instead of trying to manipulate. But do not start a dialogue while the emotions are still fresh, give time for the most acute phase to pass, otherwise, behind your own pain, you only risk turning passive dissatisfaction into a real open conflict with the classic accusations and remembering all the negativity over the past years.

Psychologists offer techniques on how to get rid of resentment and. Since resentment is associated with the non-acceptance of some behavior of another, you will have to get acquainted with the true manifestations of personalities and subpersonalities, without trying not to notice what was unnecessary. Trying to disguise rudeness towards animals, then we are offended by the fact that they push us away, when we explain insults to employees as a fault, and then it hurts us from swearing in our direction - it’s not the person who has become bad, it’s us who pushed him into the desired image and now we demand compliance.

Psychologist's recommendations on how to get rid of resentment include the following. It will be necessary to remember all the qualities of a person, the slightest, but constant negative manifestations, perhaps even write down. After a while, the list needs to be re-read without correction, excuses, plans to change someone else's life paradigm. There is such a person, he will not change, and only you will continue to decide whether to stay in a relationship, at what distance and how exactly to control the negative in your direction, but do not change the person.

If the problem is spoken out and the personality of the partner is seen without embellishment, and the resentment continues to eat from the inside, it is best to work with your own experiences. They are deeply deposited in the body, because the society does not allow feelings to be fully responded to and resentment itself is a stopped energy - all this remains in the body. Therefore, meditation practices, swimming, relaxation can be great help to get rid of physical symptoms. If more anger has settled, then it is necessary to dump it more actively - sports, jogging, beating a pear. Some can dance their emotions, others bring them out on paper with paints - these are all great ways to release resentment without heating up the situation and without driving a partner into guilt with constant whining and nitpicking after a frank conversation.

Take control of your own activity and instead of scrolling through an unpleasant event, answer options and forcing your own dissatisfaction, cut off this flow. Start doing some kind of hobby, and not call your partner for a conversation, see what you yourself can please yourself now and do it instead of waiting for another.

When love is beaten out of us by force, we usually don’t want to give it away, a person with constant reproaches is avoided in order to save himself, and a crying person can be hugged only the first few times, then it depresses. Mature individuals, who regulate their own existential needs and emotional manifestations, remove the burden of responsibility from the other and allow freedom to manifest in relationships. It’s also good to look for what you can thank a person for, and the more such moments there are, the faster gratitude will replace unnecessary resentment. It's great if you can do this with respect to your whole life, then against the background of one small unpleasant moment there will be many inspiring ones, and although resentment will appear, it will not be able to completely destroy your existence.

Grudge against husband

Romantic relationships become commonplace, trembling as with crystal vases goes away, and here a lot of resentment arises, both for the changed attitude and for the manifestation of some features of the spouse that were not previously noticed. As long as you simply ask not to act in a certain way, and you are ignored, the feeling of resentment grows and may soon explode into a break in relations or severe psychosomatics. The constant accumulation of such toxic negativity inside carries frustration tendencies, therefore, it is necessary to get rid of resentment against the husband as soon as possible in order to preserve one's own health, if not the family.

How to get rid of resentment towards her husband? The main mistake is silence, which leads to the fact that a war is brewing inside, and a person thinks that everything is fine. If you do not voice that it hurts and is unpleasant for you, then you will be offended constantly, and the one who tries to withstand everything will be loaded more and more until you fall dead. Even a close and beloved man will not guess what you want, so only a frank dialogue, setting rules can save the situation. Some men so prefer not to interfere in women's experiences that even crying from the bathroom is ignored, believing that she needs to be on her own, and if she needs it, she will say it herself.

Dialogue is necessary as a preventive measure, but if resentment against her husband has already settled, then she needs to be thrown out. We remember that this is stopped anger and in our own imagination we remove all restrictions. Forget alone with yourself that you love this person, scold him with all the words that come to mind, beat his imaginary face with especially strong negativity, you can even write a story about his death or visualize a funeral. The point is not to take revenge, but to legalize negative experiences. As soon as anger is fully lived through, other emotions will begin to appear, perhaps warmth and forgiveness, perhaps disappointment or a deaf acceptance of the fact, but this is already the dynamics of getting out of resentment.

Resentment against parents

There is an opinion that if you get rid of resentment towards your parents, then the rest of the negative aspects will also become less, because this is the pattern from childhood that has the most impact on adult life. Without forgiving something to our parents, we continue to demand it further from the whole reality, our friends and partners, while it is impossible to saturate this hole. This is the kind of resentment that everyone has in their anamnesis, regardless of how the rest of their lives turn out. Even childhood traumas remain bleeding, and a duck not bought can torment the soul for years, because this is not about a rubber product at all, but about a sense of self-importance or uselessness.

It is very difficult for a little man to resist adults, because. there is a biological prohibition of expressing dissatisfaction, tk. his life, hunger, comfort and development directly depend on the contentment of the parent. This is how resentment is formed when a child tries to adapt and does not express aggression, but tries to get his own way, through pity or silence. If the methods of getting offended in every case work, then such behavior is fixed and there is an insult to the universe as a way of manipulation. So that this does not go further, does not destroy relations with children, it is necessary to learn to forgive the elders, this is how the birth channels of energy open, and it becomes possible to receive support.

How to get rid of resentment towards parents? What stretches from childhood becomes easier to let go in adulthood, when there is an opportunity to put oneself in the place of a parent. So many motives become clear, and we become grateful, seeing from what gross mistakes and consequences it saved.

Think about your concern for someone that causes a rebellion in him and then it becomes easier to feel all the hopelessness of the parental position when everything is done for development and meets only negativity.

Find something to be grateful for - if you weren’t helped, then it taught you independence, if you didn’t indulge all whims, then you taught how to use the little, if you didn’t spend a lot of time, then you developed the ability to entertain yourself. Any behavior gives us a chance to get something, the main thing is to find it and give thanks.

old grudges

One of the difficult tasks is how to get rid of old grievances, because they have already sprouted into all spheres of life and have become an integral feature of the personality. It’s not something to forgive, here you have to reshape yourself and live differently, which just remains a mystery, so you need to find safety options and tune in to a long job. It is necessary to get rid of - here you can live with a person, not remember a bad event, but the slightest incident again returns everything to the starting point, returning a feeling of pain, resentment, indignation. The trickiness of the old resentment in the tightly forgotten reason for its initial appearance, only the last words or the memory of pain will remain, and why she cried and maybe she herself also had a hand in it - this is no longer in the memory.

How to get rid of old grudges? Devalue such situations with the help of partners, you can ask them if they remember why you were offended then. Consider what happened from the position of the present, obviously you have already changed both the people and the context of the situation, so what's the point of holding on to the old. If you use cognitive analysis at all, it can become ridiculous how much energy is spent on experiencing the past. Explore that part of your personality that was most traumatized by the event that the offense still does not let go - it needs to be nourished. If you are left without support, then begin to develop your independence, and if you are rude, learn to indicate what behavior is acceptable in relation to you. Where nothing hurts, there are no long-standing toxic experiences, so figure out how this constant reminder of pain is beneficial.

What to do if a person is very vulnerable

Vulnerability and anxiety are triggers for quick resentment out of the blue. When you hear more and more that they didn’t mean to offend you, you exaggerate or wind yourself up too much - this may be about being overly sensitive. It is important to understand that such remarks must come from different people, otherwise an emotional sadist or gaslighter will suggest that you are overly offended and should be happy, when it is time to call the police.

Sensitivity to the comments of others is born from low self-worth, because when the person herself does not understand what she deserves, she receives all the assessments from the outside. The trick is to try to get more praise in order to strengthen your inner sense of self, but you can’t please everyone. Those who try hard for others soon get more and more comments, simply because they try to please. And each criticism is perceived not just as a bad suit, but almost as a ban on such people from living. You need to get out of this, looking for internal supports.

Remind yourself of all positive accomplishments, things done on your own or with support, but good. Figure out what you like, for this you can stay in seclusion for some time to decide on food, appearance, and behavior. Review films, re-read books, listening very subtly and delicately to all the movements of your mood in order to understand which ones are yours and which ones you have read in order to be in the subject. Make this list and another small one where you write down everything that brings joy and let this one be the guidelines for the real you when someone criticizes.

Try to perceive other people's statements not as a guide to action or criticism, but as an opportunity to look at the other side of the same event. It may suit you or not, but the decision is up to you. Then there will be less resentment and vulnerability, because the person only offers, and it is up to you to take it or not. In addition, evaluate the situations of your increased vulnerability - a party where the ex is present, communication with a negative person, work where creativity is suppressed. Avoid such places and it is likely that your psyche will not be so sensitive, vulnerability will also pass if you do not constantly beat on a bleeding wound.

Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"

When You Need Psychological Help

Seeing a person on crutches, we sympathetically accompany him with a look. Noticing a person with a bandaged hand or head, we think: “Probably fell, hit.” Physical injuries received while playing sports or in domestic conditions cause compassion. But few people know that psychological trauma does no less harm to human health. Sometimes a psychologically "injured" person can be seen immediately: he has an extinct look, anger and resentment or apathy on his face, etc. And sometimes, having met a person, we do not even suspect that his “soul is bandaged”.

Causes and signs of psychological trauma

Psychological trauma is a reaction to a difficult event in life. A person saw something, heard something that turned his inner world upside down - and something is already wrong with him.

Doctors usually do not make a diagnosis of "psychological trauma". But psychological "wounds" from this do not disappear anywhere. There are persistent signs that a person "bleeds the soul":

apathy, lethargy, decreased performance;
aggression, unsociableness;
inability to establish contact, family, friendship or intimate relationships with other people;
dissatisfaction with oneself, etc.

Injuries can be instantaneous. For example, Anna sewed the dress herself. It was important for her to be accepted in this dress and appreciate her beauty. She especially wanted someone to praise her for her skill. However, this dress was first noticed by a neighbor woman. She said to her: "Why are you wearing such a stupid new thing?" After that, Anna did not hear insults of this kind from other people. However, she forever remembered what happened and became more withdrawn.

But injuries can also last a long time. For example, since childhood, Alla heard the word "fool" from her mother. If she was mistaken, then her mother in every possible way teased her and showed her weaknesses. Basically, it concerned the lessons. This went on throughout school life, day after day. When Alla grew up, she also began to experience hard any words spoken to her.

Injuries can be received in childhood ("dad and mother do not like me", "I am the worst", etc.) or in adults (death of loved ones, witness or participant in an accident, natural disaster). In childhood, injuries occur more often because children have few psychological defenses, and toddlers are more open to the world.

There is a misconception that injuries are more often caused by strangers. In fact, trauma can also be received from a loved one. Why do close people hurt each other? Because they experience very strong emotions for each other and because they are more defenseless in front of each other. They hurt because they hurt themselves, and they hope: "Well, he is a close person - he must guess what I feel and understand me, forgive me." However, such traumas from loved ones are experienced the hardest: “Well, how could he do this to me, a loved one!”

It must be borne in mind that the same situation can be traumatic for one person, but not for another. Whether the situation will become traumatic or will be transferred normally, without consequences, depends on many factors:

from the presence of psychological defenses (if a person knows how to defend himself psychologically, then it is more difficult to offend him);
on the degree of dependence on someone else's opinion (the higher the dependence, the stronger the trauma);
from self-esteem (the lower it is, the stronger the trauma).

There are typically female psychological traumas: they are associated with beauty, thriftiness, the attention of men, etc. A woman who has not received confirmation of female qualities that are significant for her is very offended and can then experience this for years.

There are also typically male injuries: they are associated with failures in a career, intimate life, physical strength. Accordingly, if a man has experienced humiliation in any of the areas that are significant for him, then he experiences this as humiliation and feels his inferiority.

One of the most painful - sexual psychotrauma. They are not always associated with violence or malicious intent. In childhood, a child may be traumatized by, for example, seeing the genitals of an adult of the opposite sex. The trauma can be so severe that in the future a person will not be able to lead a normal intimate life.

Below we give examples of various psychotraumas taken from real psychological practice. Maybe in some of them you will recognize the echoes of your own destiny:

Trauma "I can't do it"

Nikolai was fired without warning from his very first job. This coincided with the crisis of 1998. For several months he could not find a job. He had no support from relatives. He was in a very difficult position. There was nothing to pay for a rented apartment. For some time he lived with friends, but for a long time he could not embarrass them, left them and ended up practically on the street. I found temporary small part-time jobs, but there was no permanent job. After a year of such a life, he nevertheless found a job in his specialty, but every month on the day of his salary, a cold sweat breaks through him. He is waiting for a sudden dismissal and is in great tension all day. Nicholas is not married. He believes that “in such an unstable economic situation” it is impossible to start a family, have children.

Trauma "There are things that speak of my inferiority"

Svetlana can't stand watches. She was given a wristwatch as a child and wore it proudly. But one day she was traveling with her grandmother in a trolley bus, and the grandmother asked the woman to “give way to the child.” The woman was indignant: “They pamper children, give them places, buy watches,” she said, looking at Svetlana’s watch, “and then who knows what grows out of them!” Svetlana felt guilty, took off her watch at home and never wore it again. Never again in her life did she buy herself a watch, and she refused when it was given to her.

Trauma “I once had a hard time, and I won’t survive this again”

Irina never visits doctors, and no matter what she gets sick, she does not go to the clinic. As a child, she survived a difficult operation, after which she was hardly left. And then it turned out that the diagnosis was erroneous, and the operation was not needed.

"I don't want to be responsible" trauma

Alexander has not driven a car since he had an accident in which his mother, whom he was carrying in his car that day, was very injured and almost died. Oddly enough, but as a passenger, he feels completely calm and completely trusts his wife, who now drives a car. He is afraid not so much of an accident as of his responsibility for someone else's life.

Trauma "I won't repeat past mistakes"

Victor never meets brunettes. He had a brunette girlfriend and her ex-boyfriend's friends beat him up badly.

Trauma "I'm afraid of losing what I got with such difficulty"

Natalia had three premature pregnancies before she could have a baby. However, many years after the birth of the child, Natalya is in constant fear for the life of her adult son. She calls a 20-year-old boy several times a day, she is very concerned about his health, she always thinks that he has an unhealthy complexion, that he has lost weight. At the same time, her son is an absolutely healthy young man.

Any physical injury sustained by an athlete or an ordinary person can be cured or at least minimized. The same applies to psychological trauma. If possible, it is better to contact a psychologist who will tell you how to do it more correctly. If this is not possible, you can get rid of psychological trauma yourself:

Recognize that what happened to you really affected you somehow, and now you want to get rid of this consequence. You don't have to pretend that you are fine.
Look around: maybe you know examples of people who went through the same thing as you and were able to overcome this trauma? How? Please note that your case is not exclusive.
What happened made you stronger. In what way? What did it teach you?
Learn to think positively. Even if something has happened, you can map out a plan of action to overcome it.
If you don’t feel like doing anything, then you have too little motivation. Think about how you can interest yourself. Maybe the injury brings some benefits for you? As long as these benefits are there and injuries bring secondary pleasure, they will not be easy to get rid of.

Books on psychological trauma

Liz Burbo "Five traumas that prevent you from being yourself";
Khukhlaev O.E. "Psychological trauma" in itself. The natural process of living trauma”;
Kalyuzhnaya I. "Rehabilitation after psychological trauma";
Hollis, D. "Under the Shadow of Saturn: Men's Psychological Trauma."

When You Need Psychological Help

There are cases when it is impossible to get rid of psychological trauma on your own and you need to contact a specialist. For example, these are situations when a person:

experiencing suicidal thoughts, talking to himself endlessly, dressing strangely or behaving dangerously;
addicted to alcohol, drugs, excessive smoking;
constantly crying;
cannot or does not want to sleep, eat;
throws himself at others or, conversely, lies all the time.

Answers to frequently asked questions

Why do people inflict psychological trauma on each other?

Some do it consciously, for example, to compensate for the feeling of their own inferiority, to take revenge. Others do it unconsciously because they don't know how to behave.

Is it possible to learn not to offend other people?

The more happy and harmonious you are, the less misfortune you will bring to other people.

What to do if the traumatic situation is repeated every day?

You may have become addicted to the person who hurts you. In addition, a traumatic situation brings you benefits along with pain. You need to get rid of this.

Are there psychological traumas that cannot be got rid of and that will torment you for the rest of your life?

The most severe injuries, of course, leave some trace in a person's life. However, with proper work with a psychologist, a person learns to live with trauma and reduces its negative consequences.

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