Death is a natural and inevitable process. All people live and subconsciously wait for death. Someone begins to feel in advance that they will soon leave, someone dies suddenly. When, at what time and under what circumstances the life of each of us will end is already prescribed from above.

Death can be natural - from old age. Or unexpected, fast - an accident can happen to a person. There is a painful death from disease or torture.

How exactly this or that person will die depends only on his karma. Death is inevitable, unpredictable and almost always comes unexpectedly.

Losing a loved one- real grief, which is very difficult and sometimes impossible to survive. But no matter how hard it is, we are obliged to let our deceased relatives go as soon as possible.

What should you do after the death of your loved ones?

1. It is necessary to get rid of all the belongings of the deceased.

This must be done after 40 days from the date of death. Items can be given away, donated or burned. It is also necessary to remove all photographs of the deceased from visible and accessible places. Take photos from walls, chests of drawers, remove them from screensavers on your phone, computer, and take them out of wallets.

While there are things in our environment that remind us of a deceased relative, we consciously or subconsciously think about him, worry, and cry. This way we not only keep the soul of our loved one on Earth, but also create problems for ourselves.

What's happening: an energetic connection is formed between a dead and living person. The deceased is not released, and he is forced to stay close to his loved ones, who worry and cry because of him. Gradually, everyone in the house begins to get sick, as the dead feed on the energy of the living.

Against the background of attachments to deceased relatives, diseases such as asthma and diabetes mellitus develop within 3-5 years. This happens 80% of the time. If this binding is removed, the disease will recede as a consequence.

In my practice, there are cases when diabetes that arose against the background of attachment completely disappeared after 3-5 sessions. But everything is individual.

In some cases, other diseases, such as obesity, may also develop. If an attachment has formed, you will constantly feel tired, lack of strength, and will not be able to force yourself to do anything. Against this background, some people begin to eat a lot to replenish energy reserves, and end up becoming obese.

1. Avoid frequent visits to cemeteries

There are people who like to regularly visit cemeteries and drink alcohol at graves. Some are so overcome with grief that they spend days there.

After visiting the cemetery, a person feels very tired, heaviness, and headache. This happens because the dead feed on the energy of the living, so it is recommended to visit the resting places as rarely as possible.

After the cemetery, it is necessary to wash clothes every time - from underwear to jackets and raincoats. You must definitely take a bath or shower to wash off the cemetery energy and wash your shoes.

Absolutely not drink alcoholic beverages at graves, take some objects, flowers, earth, etc. from there. Otherwise, you can create a connection with the other world. This can also lead to illness.

It is not uncommon for the dead to move in with the living in cemeteries. This is very dangerous for health and life, so try to visit such places as little as possible.

As a rule, souls who cannot find peace in the other world move in. These are the souls of suicides, as well as those who died unexpectedly or violently. We are often contacted by people who have a problem with their home; they suffer greatly, hear voices, and are haunted by hallucinations. In such cases, it is necessary to perform an exorcism.

1. Do not put your belongings in the coffin of the deceased

This VERY DANGEROUS. People who do this get sick within a year and may die if they are not helped in time.

Don’t create attachments for yourself, live in the world of the living! If you put a personal item in a coffin, and after some time you begin to have health problems, there is only one way out - to dig up the grave and remove this item. It is also necessary to carry out energetic work to eliminate the attachment.

1. If possible, cremate the deceased's body.

VERY GOOD not to bury, but to burn the bodies of the dead. Even better is to scatter the ashes. This way you will not be tied to the grave, you will have nowhere to go.

The soul of your loved one will be grateful to you!

No matter how hard it is, you need to understand that death is an inevitable phenomenon. Don't keep your dead close, let them go! There is no place for the living in the world of the dead, and for the dead there is no place in the world of the living. The time will come and we will all leave! But know that death is not the end!

Everything about religion and faith - “a prayer to release the dead” with a detailed description and photographs.

A deceased person, no more than 40 days have passed since his death, is considered newly deceased. It is believed that for the first 2 days the soul of the deceased is on earth and only on the third day is transferred to heaven, where it will remain until the 40th day. Orthodox prayers for a deceased person help his soul to go through all the airy ordeals, and contribute to the Lord’s forgiveness of earthly sins committed.

Prayer for the newly deceased until 40 days

During the period up to 40 days, prayers for a deceased person should be read, following certain rules. The whole point is that from the day of death the Lord calls His slave to Himself and from that moment a difficult and thorny path begins to determine the place for the soul of the deceased.

The text of the prayer, read over the body of the deceased for up to 3 days

The third day after a person’s death is called thirds. On this day, the soul of the deceased goes to heaven. Therefore, it is very important to offer prayers over the body all three days and after the funeral, so that the soul does not suffer, but receives temporary peace.

Immediately after death, a special ritual of washing and dressing the deceased is performed. After it, loved ones can read a prayer-appeal to the Guardian Angel over the body of the deceased.

It sounds like this:

Prayer for peace after the funeral

Prayer for repose immediately after the funeral is very important, since it is at this moment that the support of living loved ones is very important for the soul. In no case should one treat dead people carelessly, since in this case the Lord will appreciate such an attitude and will not show leniency towards the soul of the deceased at the Last Judgment.

It is believed that after the funeral it is best to read a special prayer in the temple. This is the most powerful prayer. With its help, you can beg for forgiveness of many of the deceased person’s sins that he committed during his lifetime.

The text of the prayer after the funeral is:

Prayer for the 9th day after death

From the third to the ninth day in heaven, the soul of the deceased is shown the tabernacles of paradise. After this, she will have to wander through hell, experiencing various ordeals. To support the soul of the deceased before the expected trials, it is recommended that a funeral be held on that day.

The prayer, which is read on the 9th day after death, sounds like this:

Prayer to the Most Holy Theotokos for the newly deceased

A very strong prayer for the newly deceased is an appeal to the Most Holy Theotokos. During her lifetime, the Most Pure Virgin Mary experienced a lot of grief associated with the loss of loved ones. Therefore, her prayers always calm, but most importantly, such appeals are necessarily taken into account by the Lord when carrying out the Judgment.

Prayer for the repose of the soul of the newly deceased

Until 40 days, the prayer to the Most Holy Theotokos for the newly deceased sounds as follows:

Prayer for the newly deceased after 40 days

After 40 days, you need to pray for the repose of the deceased, turning to the Most Holy Theotokos, on special days, and also when an internal need arises for this. You don't have to visit for this. You can offer a prayer to the Most Pure Virgin Mary at home in front of her image.

The prayer goes like this:

What prayers are customary to read for the dead and why is it necessary?

According to the canons of the Orthodox faith, dead people, if prayers are offered for them for the repose of their souls, receive relief, and sometimes even liberation from God’s punishments from beyond the grave for sins committed during earthly life. Saint John speaks about this in his “Life after Death.”

It sounds something like this:

Commemoration of the newly deceased must be carried out on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day. Wherein:

• On the 3rd day after death, funeral prayers are read in honor of the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and the image of the Holy Trinity.
• On the 9th day after death, prayers are performed in honor of the nine angelic ranks, who are servants of the King of Heaven and petition for pardon of the deceased.
• On the 40th day, according to the tradition of the apostles, the basis for prayer is the forty-day cry of the Israelis about the death of Moses.

After the 40th day, commemorations at the Liturgy are especially strong, which are performed by priests to remember the deceased, believers submit special notes. It should be understood that there is no specific set number of prayers that guarantee souls entering heaven. The living cannot know anything about God's Judgment. Therefore, whenever possible, a note should be submitted in the church before the Liturgy.

In addition, memorial prayers are important for the living, since only with their help can the grief of separation from a deceased person be satisfied. During prayer requests, an understanding comes that Christianity does not connect life with the end of everything. It is a transitional stage that God destined for any person to go through. From the point of view of Christianity, death is a transition to another, more perfect level of life. The soul is immortal, therefore all living people need to see it off to another world not with tears, but with prayer for the repose of the soul. And after her fate is decided at God’s Judgment, it is necessary to support her by periodically reading prayers for her repose on certain days appointed by the Church. At this time, memorial services are read - public services.

For believers, it is far from a secret that the body is only physical matter. It is generally accepted that the soul is the person himself, and the rest is “clothes”. The body dies, but the soul lives forever. And so it is in almost all religions.

Once upon a time, scientists even conducted an experiment in which they found that after death a person becomes lighter by a certain number of grams. Then they decided that this is what the soul weighs.

For many years now people have been tormented by questions about the soul. About what happens to her “there”, further, after bodily death. There are many legends, myths and superstitions. And since the soul is something intangible, all assumptions about it will remain just assumptions.

The most common question that interests many people is how to let go of the soul of your loved one?! Let's first figure out what it means to “let go of the soul”?

What does it mean to “let go of a person’s soul”?

First of all, after the death of a loved one, you need to understand that he did not get into any trouble and nothing can be changed. It simply doesn't exist. Not in this world and in this space. The only thing that has changed is that he cannot say, do, hug, etc. Well, the soul is alive. One can only guess what is happening to her and where she is. For us humans, this still remains a mystery. You need to let go of a person’s soul within yourself. To understand that she is moving further into a world unknown to us.

How to “let go of a person’s soul.”

It is important to understand here that this happens more on a spiritual level. After all, physically we cannot touch the soul. Spiritually, we often “hold” others. We become attached to each other. Also spiritually, not physically. Man is designed in such a way that he always strives for union. He needs connections with other people. We are dependent on each other. And when loved ones “leave” us, whether in the literal sense or in the sense of death, we continue to “keep” them close to us in our hearts, souls and heads.

In order to allow the soul of a loved one to calmly “go” into another world, you need to work on yourself. We need to understand that the soul no longer needs our physical world and it will be better for it not to drown in our tears and suffering, but to move on, knowing that we are okay and that we will remember in a good way. All we can do to help the soul of a loved one during the transition to another world is to pray for him. Different religions have their own rules and canons that people who have lost a loved one must follow.

If we touch slightly on the mystical side, then for the first 40 days after the death of a person, his loved ones should cover all mirrors with thick fabric. It is generally accepted that the soul can get lost in the mirror world and not find the way.

How to “let go of the soul” of an unborn child.

Every person has a soul. And the child who was conceived and was in the womb also already had his own soul. This is the first thing that arises in a person. And if such a tragedy happened that the child did not see the world, this is a huge grief for parents, which not everyone can survive. If people are believers, then they know that the Lord takes the soul when He needs it and, unfortunately, we cannot influence this in any way. Such misfortunes do not just happen. Most likely this is a lesson for failed parents. Or God saved us from something even more terrible. You need to pray for the child in the same way. We need to say goodbye to him, giving him life “there” - in a more perfect world. And when the time comes, you will be given another chance to become parents!

It is also necessary to let go of the soul of an aborted child! It is very important here to ask for forgiveness to him if this choice was made by you intentionally.

Perhaps it will become a little easier if parents who have lost a child while still in the womb perform something like a ritual that they can come up with for themselves. If the pregnancy was short and the child does not have to be buried, then you can do it yourself. For example, bury some toy or something that reminds of this tragedy. Often women keep pregnancy tests. You can even bury it. Lay flowers, say goodbye. This is a more psychological technique in order to ease your state of mind at least a little.

How to “let go of the soul” of a dead husband or dead wife.

Very often, after the death of one of the spouses, the other begins to fall into a real, protracted depression, literally making a “crypt” or “altar” out of the house, where an incredible number of different photographs of the husband or wife hang. This makes it very difficult for the soul to “leave.” She rushes about and sees herself everywhere. She sees suffering and it is very difficult for her to leave. It will be enough to place one photo with a black ribbon and a candle next to it for 40 days. After which the candle can be taken to the grave and lit there. You can save the photo on your desk or wall, but one thing. Just for memory. And it’s best if this photo is associated with some pleasant event. The main thing is that, looking at him, there is no deep mourning. If this occurs, it is better to remove the photo. After all, one can commemorate and remember without any “attributes” or auxiliary objects.

How to “let go of the soul” of a deceased loved one.

The most important thing is to love! Here the situations are very similar to the previous one, where we talked about spouses. You should also not make “altars” from photographs and gifts. If there are any memorable gifts or toys, then, of course, you can leave them and look at them. You can keep them and remember your loved one, but if this causes more pain, then it is better to take them to the grave, keeping one thing.

How the soul of the deceased is “released” on the 40th day.

On the 40th day after the death of a person, it is customary to visit the church and order a memorial service for the deceased. You can also order a liturgy. In the church they also light candles “for the repose”, while reading a prayer “for the repose of the soul”.

Day 40 is considered very important, just like day 9. On these days, the soul goes through the most difficult tests on its way to the “new world.” Throughout the 40 days, relatives tirelessly pray for the deceased, helping his soul. Then it is customary to have a memorial meal, where loved ones gather around a large table, read a prayer at the beginning of the meal, remember and also read a prayer at the end of the meal. And in an amicable way, there should be either very little alcohol on the table or no alcohol at all.

For some nations and religions, it is customary to organize some kind of charity meal or help the homeless on the 40th day after the death of a loved one. Or simply do some kind deed for a beggar or homeless person.

Spiritual healer

Letting go of a person who has passed into another world

Forgiving or letting go of a deceased relative or friend is a very important component of our lives.

Letting go is necessary both for us who live on Earth and for them who have gone to other Worlds. This must be done, first of all, out of love for them and for yourself too. Now, I will try to explain clearly why this is important.

We all lose relatives and friends; their departure, especially if it was sudden, makes us despondent. The whole white world is becoming unkind. We experience a feeling of loss, suffering. We cry, we feel injustice towards ourselves and our family. We can, at this moment, even be angry with God. This cannot be done under any circumstances, because when we are angry with God, we are angry with ourselves, since we are a part of him. Of course, God loves us, and he will not be offended by our anger. But, on the contrary, he will send our Guardian Angels support, assistance, additional Divine energy to support us in passing this stage in life. Our suffering and tears destroy not only us, but also all the people who surround us. You need to remember this, having lost one relative and continuing to be in despondency, you unconsciously, at the energy level, attract illnesses, misfortunes for yourself and close relatives, increasing the abyss into which, with constant suffering, your entire Family line falls. And the most important thing is that you do not let the Soul of the deceased go to rest.

The soul is imprisoned between heaven and Earth, precisely imprisoned, as in a cage. And the first sign that a deceased relative is in captivity is if you constantly or often dream about him. Remember, it is difficult for them to be in captivity, let them go with love and gratitude that they were in your life. They, in fact, always remain with us, we just don’t see them visually, but energetically we feel them. Let go, thank them and wish them the kingdom of heaven. Now I will describe a small ritual that needs to be done in order to let go of a deceased person as quickly and easily as possible.

You need to travel through four Temples in one day. In every church it is obligatory to order a sorokoust for the repose of a deceased person and a sorokoust for your health. If there are no four Temples nearby in your area, you can come to the same church for 4 days in a row and perform this ritual. You may have a question, why go to the Church and not to the cemetery? My dears, I ask you, do not go to the cemetery often. In the cemetery there is the energy of death, grief and suffering of people. If you go there often, you will gain even more of this negative energy and begin to get sick yourself. You need to come to the cemetery only on days of remembrance of the dead, so-called parental Saturdays, or on the day of death of a person. On other days you cannot go to the cemetery! You can't talk to a dead person either. In this way, you constantly call him to you, to Earth.

He cannot do this, and you cannot go to him before the time allotted to you on Earth. This comes from our loss of connection with God, from our illiteracy. I, too, out of ignorance, unfortunately, went through this stage in life. For a year and a half I could not accept my mother’s death and let her go. Imagine my surprise when I performed this ritual. I came home after visiting four Temples - believe me, there was grace and peace in my Soul. I lay down to rest, and, half asleep, my mother’s face appeared to me in a purple glow and she told me - thank you, daughter, for letting me go. And from then on I never dreamed of her again. And I remember her departure without tears or regret. This is our life path and we must know that in life everything is exchange, everything is movement. As in all of nature, a plant grows from a seed and bears fruit. Then it dies, and the fruit continues to grow and produce new fruits. In our life, birth is Spring, then growth is Summer, harvesting fruit is Autumn, and the dying of life is Winter. Take care of yourself and your loved ones, give them love, warmth and happiness during your lifetime. Don’t be sorry if you didn’t add something as you think. And believe me, life does not die, it simply fades away on the physical plane and continues on the energy plane.

How to let go of a deceased person and come to terms with his death?

November is a month of nostalgia and sadness. The world around us loses color and slowly goes to sleep. It is probably no coincidence that the beginning of November marks the religious and sacred days of remembrance of the dead and memories of people we knew, loved... and still love. However, at the same time, this is a reason to think about our attitude towards separation. After all, leaving this life is destined for everyone.

It cannot be avoided. In November, many of us are especially acutely aware of the idea that everyone will cross the threshold connecting this world with the next. It is worth thinking about how we think about death, how much this understanding and awareness supports us. If not, can we change it to a mindset that can create more positive than negative feelings. Why do this even need to be done? Here's what experts - the so-called life coaches - say about this.

How to Let Someone Go: The Power of Healing Acceptance

Within the framework of the modern science of neurobiology, quantum physics and medicine, many interesting discoveries have recently been made that can be considered in the context of positive psychology. Many of the already proven theories explain the processes that we trigger with our thoughts and feelings. We influence them both on ourselves and on everything around us. Therefore, it is worth being aware and attentive to what and how exactly we think.

Separation and loss are certainly among the situations that cause us the greatest pain. Sometimes it is so deep that it is difficult to describe it in any words. How to come to terms with the death of a loved one, how to let a person go from your thoughts and heart - no matter what psychologists advise, it seems that there can be no answer to these questions at all. Moreover, many do not look for it, because they plunge into grief, which has a high chance of turning into depression. And she makes people lose the desire to live and plunge into despair for a very long time.

It happens that after the death of a loved one, someone’s mental balance is never fully restored. Is this an expression of love? Or perhaps this state of affairs stems from fear and dependence on someone else's presence and proximity?

If we perceive life as it is and accept its conditions, the rules of the game (and death is one of them), then we must be ready to let go of the one we love. Love is our preference, not an addiction. And not "ownership". If we love, then, of course, we feel sadness, regret and even despair after the final break with a loved one. Moreover, this does not necessarily concern his death, because people also ask the question of how to let a loved one go from their thoughts, from their souls in other, less tragic situations. But there is (at least there should be) something else in us - acceptance of the fact that this person is leaving our life and acceptance of all the negative feelings associated with this. That’s why they eventually pass, leaving a feeling of peace and gratitude for the fact that we once met and were together.

But if our life is dominated by a position based on control and generated by fear, then we cannot put up with death, we cannot let go of the loss. Yes, it seems like we are suffering - we cry and feel unhappy - but at the same time, paradoxically, we do not allow true feelings to come to us! We stand on their surface, afraid that they will swallow us. Then we do not give ourselves a chance for true experiences and can seek help in some kind of forced activity or medications, alcohol. And thus we contribute to prolonging the state of despair, leading it to the deepest depression. Therefore, you don’t need to run away from yourself, from your real feelings, or seek salvation from them - you need to accept their existence and allow yourself to experience them.

Think with love

According to physicist Dr. Ben Johnson, a person generates different frequencies of energy with his thoughts. We cannot see them, but we feel their pronounced influence on our well-being. It is known that positive and negative thoughts are fundamentally different. Positive, that is, associated with love, joy, gratitude, are highly charged with the energy of life and act very favorably on us. In turn, negative thoughts vibrate at low frequencies, which reduce our vitality.

In the course of research, it was found that the most creative, vital and healthy electromagnetic field generates thoughts associated with love, care and tenderness. So if you deepen your condition by drawing black scenarios like “I can’t cope,” “My life will now be lonely and hopeless,” “I will always be alone,” then you will significantly reduce your vitality.

Of course, when a person is tormented by the question of how to come to terms with the death of his loved ones, how to let go of a deceased person who is always in his thoughts, in his heart, in his soul, he somehow has no time to think about himself, about his well-being. However, there is a problem. After some time, it suddenly becomes clear that life, which has stopped for a suffering person, for some reason does not want to stop in external manifestations. In other words, a person still has to go to work and do something there, earn money for a living, feed his children and take them to school... For a while, he will be lenient, but this cannot last too long. And if a person is absolutely indifferent to his well-being, then a moment may come when he will not be able to do something that no one can help him with. Even an ordinary everyday problem can be an overwhelming task for him. He will understand that he needs to pull himself together, but his failing health will turn out to be a very big obstacle on this path.

No one calls for driving away thoughts of loss, but when the stage of acute grief is experienced, it’s time to change the emphasis in these thoughts.

Thinking about those who passed away, lovingly, remembering happy moments, a person strengthens himself, and in some cases simply saves himself.

How to say goodbye to your loved one? How to let him go and not interfere with your affection?

Here is an exercise related to the practice of so-called integrated presence. It is believed that it makes a person closer to himself and his feelings.

1. When you acutely feel sadness and despair, fear, confusion, a sense of loss, sit down, close your eyes and begin to breathe deeply.
2. Feel the air filling your lungs. Don't take long breaks between inhalations and exhalations. Try to breathe smoothly.
3. Try to breathe your feelings - as if they were hanging in the air. If you feel sadness, imagine that you are taking it into your lungs, that it is fully present in you.
4. Then look for the place in your body where you feel your emotions most acutely. Keep breathing.

The senses that you give space to become integrated. Then sadness will turn into gratitude for the fact that you had the opportunity to be and live with a loved one. You will be able to remember his character, actions and general experiences with a smile and genuine, authentic joy. Repeat this exercise as often as possible and you will suddenly feel stronger. Sadness will turn into peace, and the question of how to let go of your loved one in such a way as to give him and yourself peace, how to find the strength to come to terms with his departure, will no longer be so pressing.

Astrologers say: Scorpio is the king of death

The Scorpio archetype brings us closer to this topic, leading us through all the deaths that a person experiences while in the body. Scorpio loves to kill in a broad sense - to help ensure that the old, already outdated, goes away, giving way to the new. What must die? According to Scorpios, these are mostly “rotten” compromises, including with ourselves, when we deny our true feelings and desires. Scorpio teaches you to clearly say “yes” or “no” in order to live truly, fully.

The Phoenix is ​​reborn only from the ashes. What happens to him before his wings open again? He purifies himself in the fire of suffering. Life, according to Scorpio, is purgatory. We will not be able to taste bright pleasures, we will not ascend to the heights of bliss, until we know what pain tastes like. Thanks to her, looking into her eyes, we start all over again. Associated with Scorpios is a snake, a symbol of transformation, as well as an eagle soaring high in the sky - already changed, already healthier, with more earthly feelings...

As a practicing psychic and medium, I often work with requests to contact the deceased. The relatives and friends of these now deceased people have questions that were not asked during their lifetime, unspoken words, a feeling that the deceased, too, could and should say or convey something. There are restless souls that disturb the living.

I have to admit that this topic is not as simple as it seems. Very often, especially after a significant period of time, relatives (friends, loved ones) of departed people idealize the latter, forgetting that they were ordinary people with their merits and demerits. Sometimes you have to disappoint customers.

Working with the dead is a dive into a depth that is incomparable to ordinary practice. It’s like “pulling out” a person’s spirit from a parallel reality, literally “from the other world.” Believe me, this is not always desirable for the dead. If a person led a righteous life, and (or) if he calmed down in the afterlife, then his spirit reports this, and he does not express any special wishes to his family. There is no point in disturbing such a dead person. If there is no reassurance, then the spirit may ask that the relatives order a funeral prayer in accordance with the tradition practiced by the deceased. It is important to understand that a funeral prayer ordered in a church is not a panacea. I had a case when my daughter asked to contact her deceased mother, and she asked that they not read prayers for her, she “wouldn’t do anything about it.” The daughter confirmed that during her life her mother was not at all interested in religion and did not consider herself to be of any faith, so this seemingly universal method of calming the dead did not work at all.

If the death is accidental (for example, violent, from a gunshot or from an accident), then the person may not understand what happened to him and may be stuck between worlds. Particularly sensitive people see such dead people as ghosts. In order for them to leave and not bother the living, they need to be explained that they are no longer part of our world, the road to the world of the dead needs to be opened, there are special rituals for this. It should be noted that this work is not easy, and the ghost is not always friendly and wants to leave the territory. If the deceased considers the territory to be his own, he will do his best to “survive” the living people living there. For example, in my practice there was a case when a boy of about 14 constantly saw a ghost near his bed. It turned out that the house was built on the site of an old cemetery. If a house stands on the site of a former burial ground, there is always negative energy, it is uncomfortable to sleep and just be around, things are going badly for the residents, and there is always a feeling of anxiety. Before building houses there, it is strongly recommended to clear the place of spirits and entities. But if the place has not been cleared in advance (for example, consecrated in any tradition), then you have to deal with what is there and negotiate with a specific restless soul.

Also, a person who died suddenly may not become a ghost, but ask to leave a message for family. It is the inability to contact those whom the deceased loved that worries him, so he comes in a dream, tries to convey something, and those whom he loved feel heavy in their hearts because they cannot let go. It is important to remember that the information given by the dead is not always one hundred percent correct. Remember that the dead do not have access to all information, this information is accurate if it concerns this particular type, and asking “do I need this job” questions if the deceased was never interested in your work is pointless. The dead are people just like us, only on the other side, and they are not omnipotent.

We need to let go. Not letting go, when, for example, after the death of their daughter, parents leave the room for years as it was during their daughter’s life, do not remove photographs from a prominent place, constantly cry, remember - it interferes with both the living and the dead. Sometimes people think that the dead person is not letting them go, when in fact it is they who, with their thoughts and painful memories, are making things worse for themselves and for the spirit of the now dead person. In my practice, there was a case when 5 years had passed since the death of a girl, but the parents could not accept death, and as a result, the spirit of the dead girl was very aggressive and screamed to be left alone already, and there was a feeling that she was suffering from insomnia, because she is constantly being tugged and not allowed to fall asleep and go into another world. Out of mercy for the dead soul, release it. In addition, sometimes the dead ask to be released because they see how much suffering such not letting go causes their loved ones, and this also prevents them from leaving.

Our ancestors knew the importance of giving the dead a chance to rest, so both memorial traditions and religious books remind us of the need to let go. In Christianity and Islam it is 3, 9, 40 days after death, the anniversary of death; Radonitsa, parental Saturdays, etc. Such dates exist so that the living remember the dead, but not too often, so that grief does not interfere with daily concerns. Because, no matter how sad it may sound, life goes on. The dead cannot be brought back. The Bible says: "Let the dead bury their dead", - let the dead remain in their own world, there is no need to follow them. That is why in Christianity widows were supposed to be in mourning for up to a year, and then they were allowed to marry again, in Islam this period is 4 months and 10 days (after which it is clear whether the widow is pregnant, in order to avoid misunderstandings regarding paternity in case of remarriage). Letting go does not mean forgetting. Letting go means recognizing the existence of a force over which we have no control and accepting its will.

What can and should be done:

• Remove all photographs from a prominent place, it is advisable to distribute the clothes of the deceased;
• from time to time order funeral prayers if the deceased was a believer;
• if you cannot find a place for yourself, ask the deceased to come to you in a dream to resolve all issues with him; For this purpose, you can contact specialists, but think carefully before doing this.
• try to accept that the person has left. If you cannot let go of a deceased person, contact specialists (preferably psychologists).
• do not remember the name of the deceased in vain (how he would behave, how he would think, etc.). Remember in good words what really happened, and not what could have been, do not create unnecessary thought forms, they will interfere with your life.

Ekaterina, Rostov region

How to “let go” of the soul of a dead husband?

Hello! Tell me, please, what does it mean to “let go” of the deceased? My beloved husband, my dear man, died. Six months have passed, I cry every day. Now I’m reading prayers for the repose of his soul, it probably really helps - it makes it easier. But the most scary thing is that nothing makes you happy in life. And I still couldn’t believe that my husband really died, I thought it was a nightmare, I’d wake up soon. And now I can’t believe that I had this happiness in my life - my past life. You know, we were happy every day, we were aware of this happiness, we felt it, we lived it, and we said “thank you” to each other. Time doesn’t heal, and I won’t be able to feel myself any other way without it.

Hello! I sympathize with you in your grief and hope to help you with a word of consolation. You can approach this issue from different angles, and therefore I will briefly, in the form of theses, present the main thoughts and arguments that will allow you to “let go of the deceased” and find the meaning of life yourself. And then you can think more deeply about what will be said. I will answer you as a Christian, and at the beginning I will remind you of the words of the Savior Jesus Christ:

Jesus said to her (Martha, Lazarus' sister): I am the resurrection and the life; He who believes in Me, even if he dies, will live. And everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this? She says to Him: Yes, Lord! I believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, coming into the world (John 11:25-28).

Amen, amen, I say to you: he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. Amen, amen, I say to you: the time is coming, and has already come, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and having heard, they will live (John 5:24-25).

Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever believes in Me has eternal life (John 6:47).

1. We are born into this world from mortal parents, we are born crying and soon we face the loss of loved ones and learn that the moment of our death will inevitably come. But, of course, it’s one thing to die a natural death, and another thing to die prematurely, leaving a widowed spouse and orphans. It is even harder for parents to bury their children. Grief would be inconsolable if there were nothing beyond the threshold of death.

The Apostle Paul consoles us: “ I do not want to leave you, brothers, in ignorance about the dead, so that you do not grieve like others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, then God will bring with Him those who died in Jesus. For we say this to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will not warn those who have died, because the Lord Himself will come down from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the Archangel and the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first; Then we who are left alive will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore, comfort one another with these words."(1 Thess. 4:13-18).

2. We must firmly believe that everything happens to us according to God’s good Providence. You need to understand that since this happened, then this is the will of God regarding your husband, you and all those people with whom he was related or simply communicated. We see only the present moment, but God plans for the long term. We cannot know for sure why this happens. But Lord wants to save everyone(1 Tim. 2:4) and over time, with the eyes of faith, we will see that this is exactly how it should have been, this is the will of the Lord.

3. We measure everything that happens to us only by the standards and values ​​of this earthly life, we are looking for earthly, obviously temporary happiness. It’s as if we lived on earth forever. And the Lord arranges everything, taking care of our eternal fate. And in the face of eternity and the inheritance of the Kingdom of Heaven, deprivation of earthly goods, the loss of loved ones often becomes gain. “Those who consider it a misfortune for those who depart from life ... and who grieve heavily for those who have departed from this life to a spiritual and incorporeal life, it seems to me, do not pay attention to what our life is like, but suffer from the disadvantage of most people, who, due to some unreasonable habit, they love their present, whatever it may be, as a blessing...” (St. Gregory of Nyssa).

4. God has no dead, He is God of the living(Matthew 22:32), and your spouse has passed on to God for eternity. “...If the hopes of Christians were limited to this life, then it would be fair to recognize the early separation from the body as regrettable. But if for those who live according to God, the beginning of true life is the release of the soul from these bodily bonds, then why should we grieve, since we have no hope? So, listen to my advice and do not fall under the weight of grief, but show that you are above it and do not succumb to it” (St. Basil the Great. Letter 97 (101)).

“You seem to be faithful, but you try to imitate the Hellenes and become like the infidels. For if you undoubtedly believe that at the end of this age there will be a resurrection of all the dead, then why do you continually and inconsolably torment yourself with weeping?” (Reverend Nilus of Sinai. Letter 2.160).

There should be a warm memory of the deceased, and not long, inconsolable sadness. He just got ahead of us. But he will rise again in the next century. Switch to what is good for him there. And when you pray, pray not so that it becomes easier for you, but for him, so that it becomes easier to him.

5. Pray to God not only for the repose of your husband’s soul. Pray to him for your soul too. Ask him to give you the strength to endure the grief that has befallen you, this temptation, this sorrow. Ask for wisdom and understanding. Turn to the Savior Christ God, as He himself calls us: “ Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest; take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls; for My yoke is easy and My burden is light"(Matt. 11:28-30).

6. You understand perfectly well that your inconsolable sadness is not pleasing to God. Christians should not grieve so much. The Monk Theodore the Studite writes: “With us everything is different, not worldly. So, when death happens, there is no crying and screaming here, like among those who love life, but the burial of the deceased takes place in silence: for here neither the wife wails, nor the children scream, nor the relatives compose lamentable songs, remembering one thing or another, but the departure is with joy, and the departure with good hope; although there are tears, out of spiritual love for the departed: in which there is nothing inappropriate; just as the Lord wept at the tomb of Lazarus, according to the nature of our nature (John 11:35).”

Faith and Christian truths help natural sadness about the death of loved ones change into comforting and quiet Christian joy. And let us hope that by the grace of God our minds will also be illuminated by the light of Truth, and we will be able to accept both our own death and the death of our loved ones worthy of the title of Christian.

7. Such intense sadness is not suitable for your spouse either. For his sake, you should not kill yourself, but start living, devote your life to some high goal, doing good deeds in memory of your husband.

8. Turn sincerely to God, bring him your sorrow and your strength, faith, talents, life. By acquiring God, you will gain everything. Without God, without God you have nothing.

9. Run to God in repentance. Repentance will open your eyes to everything that happened in your life. And think about it, because if “p there is hell in heaven for one sinner who repents"(Luke 15:7), then your piety will bring joy to your husband.

10. It is obvious that by grieving inconsolably over the loss of your husband, you are not bringing benefit to him, nor to yourself, nor to those around you, nor to the Church, nor to society. But how to find peace and strength for future life? This is possible if only you have a real goal for which it is worth living and not afraid to die. It must be that greater than our temporary pleasures and worries.

11. People spend a lot of money on monuments, and you make a modest grave in a Christian way. And in memory of the deceased, donate to the construction and restoration of God’s holy churches. And the whole Church will pray for you.

The Holy Gospel and the interpretation of St. John Chrysostom on it. His words “To a young widow”, “On consolation in death”; St. Gregory of Nyssa “A Word to those who mourn for those who have passed from this present life to the eternal”; Hieromartyr Cyprian of Carthage “Book of Mortality”; St. Ambrose of Milan “On the Good of Death”; Rev. Ephraim the Syrian “Funeral Hymns” and others. Not long ago I came across the book of Metropolitan Nicholas of Mesogeia and Lavraeotiki “Where God is not visible.” It deals with situations where a person is challenged by suffering and death, when all hope disappears. The dramatic circumstances in which parents find themselves when faced with a fatal illness of a child are described. Examples are given of people who experienced the tragedy of the death of their children, and those who transformed the expectation of their own death into the hope of the Kingdom of God.

An interesting story by Clive Staples Lewis, “The Great Divorce,” is an allegorical story about hell and heaven. The title of the book can be misleading: in fact, it is not about divorce at all. The author alludes to the book of the English artist and poet William Blake, “The Marriage of Heaven and Hell” (1793). It states that Good and Evil are only two sides of a single world, that they are necessary for each other, that they feed on each other. In the form of a parable-vision, Lewis argues with this point of view and shows that the marriage of Good and Evil is impossible.

God help you, and forgive me if I did not cope with the task. And in conclusion, I will cite an excerpt from the words of St. John Chrysostom.

“If we are the sons of martyrs, if we wish to be their fellows, then we will not grieve over death, we will not mourn those dear to us who go to the Lord before us. If we want to grieve for them, then the blessed martyrs will reproach us and say: Oh, believers and those who desire the kingdom of God, you who bitterly weep and sob for your dear ones, dying calmly on couches and soft beds - what would you do? if they were seen tormented and killed by the pagans for the name of the Lord? Don't you have an ancient example? Forefather Abraham, sacrificing his only son, killed him with the sword of obedience to God (Gen. 0:10), and did not spare the one whom he loved with such love in order to prove his obedience to the Lord. But if you say that he did this according to God’s command, then you also have a commandment not to grieve for the dead. And whoever does not observe the least, how will he observe the greater? ...I would like to offer one more example to correct those who think of mourning the dead. This example is from pagan history. There was one pagan leader who had an only and rather beloved son. When, according to pagan delusion, he was making a sacrifice to his idols in the Capitol, the news reaches him that his only son is gone. He did not leave the victim that was in his hands, did not cry or even sigh, but listen to what he answered: let them, he says, bury him; I remember that I gave birth to a son to a mortal. Look at this answer, look at the courage of the pagan: he did not even order to wait for himself so that his son could be buried in his presence. What will happen to us, brothers, if on the very day of judgment the devil brings him against us before Christ and says: this admirer of mine, whom I deceived with my wiles so that he would serve blind and deaf idols, to whom I did not promise a resurrection from the dead, neither heaven nor the kingdom of heaven, this valiant man, having learned about the death of his only son, was not saddened, and did not sigh, and did not leave my temple at such news; and your Christians, your believers, for whom you were crucified and died, so that they would not be afraid of death, but would be confident in the resurrection, not only mourn the dead with both voice and appearance, but then even find it difficult to go to church, and some even from the clergy Yours and shepherds interrupt their service, indulging in tears, as if against Your will. Why? Because You deigned to call them to You from the darkness of the age. How will we, brethren, be able to answer this? Will we not be overcome with shame when we find ourselves inferior to the pagans in this respect? A pagan who does not know God must cry, because as soon as he dies, he goes straight to execution. The Jew must also lament, who, not believing in Christ, doomed his soul to destruction. Our catechumens are also worthy of regret if they, either through their unbelief or through the negligence of their neighbors, die without saving baptism. But whoever is sanctified by grace, sealed with faith, honest in behavior or unchangeable in innocence, when he departs from this world, one must please, and not mourn, one must envy, and not grieve for him greatly, - however, envy in moderation, so as we know that in due time we ourselves will follow them. ...So, brethren, we have shown the universality of death, explained the impermissibility of tears, shown the weakness of the ancients and its unusualness for Christians, explained the mystery of the Lord, cited the testimony of the apostles about the resurrection, mentioned the acts of the apostles and the sufferings of the martyrs, pointed, in addition, to the example of David and , in addition to this, in response to the pagan’s act, they finally presented both harmful and beneficial sadness, the one that harms and the one that saves through repentance. When all this is shown in this way, what else should we do, brethren, but cry out with gratitude to God the Father: “ Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven"(Matthew 6:10)? Thou hast given life, Thou hast established death; You bring into the world, You bring out of the world and, having brought out, You preserve; nothing of Yours perishes, since You said that not even a hair of their heads will perish (Luke 21:18). " If you hide Your face, they are troubled; if you take away their spirit, they die and return to their dust; send forth Your spirit, they will be created, and You will renew the face of the earth"(Ps. 103:29,30). Here, brothers, are words worthy of believers, here is saving medicine; whose eye is wiped with this sponge of consolation, moistened with prudence by this lotion, he will not only not feel the blindness of despair, but will not experience the slightest festering of sadness, but on the contrary, looking at everything brightly with the eyes of his heart, he will say like the most patient Job: “ Naked I came from my mother's womb, naked I will return. The Lord gave, the Lord also took away; as the Lord pleased, so it was done; Blessed be the name of the Lord!"(Job 1:21)."

Asan, 26 years old, married, 2 children, technician. It's been 6 years since my mother's death. Mom suffered a massive hemorrhage and suddenly died before my eyes in half an hour. When she died, she could no longer speak, but her look is still before my eyes. I grew up without a father, alone in the family. I took the loss very hard. How to say, there is still a piece of grief left in the heart or soul, it accumulates and periodically breaks out. It accumulates, I mean, sometimes on the street I see her silhouette among passers-by, or in moments of joy or grief suddenly the heart-aching thought “If only my mother could see this now” comes to me, in a dream I see my mother, she came from a trip, she did not die, fortunately there is no limit to mine, I rush to hug her, tell her about my life, about her grandchildren, whom she has not seen. The worst thing is waking up. I'm a married adult now, 6 years have passed and I still can't handle it. MAYBE the question is in the wrong place, maybe I just need guarantees from someone from the clergy that I will see her again? Maybe I’m reproaching myself for not being able to help my mother, because it was possible to save her?

Answers from psychologists

Good day, Asan.

Yes, losing a loved one is always very painful. But death is part of life, it is a natural process. Sooner or later, we will all lose our parents and no matter at what age and from what, but we will lose them. This is life and there is nothing you can do about it. We must move on with our lives.

Asan, think about this question, what would your mother want for you? Imagine if she would like it that you are so obsessed with her? To make her feel when she sees your suffering?

For what? For what? Asan!

There is a belief that the souls of the dead cannot find peace until their loved ones release them. Your mother is tormented by the fact that you cannot let her go and by how much pain she caused you with her death.

Asan, don’t you think that you are selfish? You are not mourning her, but your feelings and expectations towards her. Asan, if you really loved your mother and if you are not selfish, then let her go. May she finally rest in peace. Everyone you have lost physically is always with you spiritually, in your heart. Their love for you remains there. Keep this and pass it on to your grandchildren. Those wonderful moments that you spent with your mother will remain with you forever. This is the most important and priceless thing.

Finally let her go, don't torture her anymore. How to let go? Go to her grave, talk to her. And tell her that you are letting her go. Then not only she, but you too will find peace. There was nothing you could have done to save her, that's life, Asan.

Everything will pass and everything will be fine.

I wish you success.

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Asan! I advise you to read M. Newton, for example his book “The Purpose of the Soul”. This will help you cope with your grief and make your memories easier. Newton's research was based on hypnosis. You can read information on hypnosis on my website:

http://sonrazuma.ucoz.ru/index/gipnoz/0-4

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Hello ASAN! You wrote to the right address. Unlived feelings and unexpressed thoughts and words live in the human soul and prevent you from living completely in the present! The fact that after the departure of your parents a bright memory remains is good and it should be so, but in your soul there remains bitterness from the loss of your mother and wine, which prevents you from receiving joy from life and communication with the living; and know, if you are still torturing yourself that something depended on you back then, then her soul THERE is restless!!! On your own, if you wish, go to the grave and express everything that is boiling in your soul and apologize if this makes you feel better! And most importantly - don't blame yourself!!! Since, in that situation, YOU DID EVERYTHING DEPENDING ON YOU! FORGIVE YOURSELF AND LET GO OF THE SITUATION! And if, nevertheless, it is difficult, then visit a psychologist in person and work with him on this topic. All the best. Sincerely, Lyudmila K.

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Asan, it’s clear from everything that your grief has not yet been overcome. You still cannot accept her death, come to terms with it in your soul. Indeed, there is a belief that if a person cannot accept the death of a loved one, then his soul cannot calm down and suffers there, in heaven. Unfortunately, life is designed in such a way that sooner or later we lose loved ones and sometimes it is very difficult to come to terms with this. You were very young when your mother died, you were only 20 years old. This is a very difficult loss for such a young man. What can I recommend here? You definitely need the help of a psychologist so that he can help you react to your feelings, help you let go of your mother’s death, and ease your feelings of guilt in front of her. After all, a person lives in our heart after physical death and we can often remember him. The main thing is that this does not poison our lives, does not take away our energy, because we need to live, raise children and grandchildren. And then the departed person will definitely be happy for his loved ones. If it is not possible to go to a psychologist, use the recommendations of your colleagues. Good luck to you!

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Hello Asan!

Your grief is great, and I sincerely sympathize with you. But normally, a person should continue to live effectively, even when people close and dear to him pass away. This is the order of life, and by stopping, in a sense, his life after the death of a loved one, plunging into grief for more than one year, a person violates this order of life. I think you are stuck at some stage of experiencing grief (offhand, at the stage of denial, but this still needs to be checked), which means you cannot complete this experience and continue to live. Your life, of course, will not be the same as before the loss, but it should be satisfying and effective, it should make you happy. I think you should seek professional help from a psychologist who specializes in loss, since you do not have enough resources to cope with the grief of loss on your own. All the best, Elena.

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Hello Asan!

Six years ago you lost your mother, the closest and dearest person in your life. You still miss her. Your dreams speak about this. You were there during her death and this, in my opinion, was the most you could do to help her at that moment and you did it.

Asan, it is very important to face unlived feelings from the role of a son, to allow yourself, an adult, to grieve for what you lost when your mother left. It is more effective to do this together with a psychologist or psychotherapist.

I sympathize with your grief. Regards, Tatiana.

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