How to hear what others don't hear. When do people not hear each other? Parents do not notice their child's strange behavior
— What are the features of perception outside world in deaf people?
— First of all, it should be noted that the deaf are very different people by their upbringing, education, ability to use their residual hearing, speak clearly, and so on. Some of them need care from hearing people all their lives, others are successfully realized in life.
Lack of hearing narrows a person's field of perception, depriving him of the ability to sense what is outside his field of vision. A hearing person becomes alert when, for example, some sounds are heard from behind or the noise of a car on the side increases. The absence of this opportunity makes the deaf person more vulnerable.
This feature - only visual perception - can be compared with silent cinema, when it is not always possible to grasp the meaning of what is happening on the screen. All this can affect the difficulty of deaf people to trace the cause-and-effect relationships of events, and therefore their ability to understand what certain actions may lead to. Therefore, the picture of the world of the deaf may be different, there may be gaps in it, which they fill with the help of their own explanatory models, causing confusion among the hearing ones.
A deaf person must constantly watch what is happening around him in order to be aware. When communicating in sign language, he is forced to look very carefully not only at the moving hands of the interlocutor, but also at his face. Such concentration deprives him of the ability to see what is happening nearby.
© From the personal archive of Tatyana Basilova
© From the personal archive of Tatyana Basilova
— Is it possible to understand before starting a conversation that a person has difficulty hearing?
— The oral speech of a deaf person can be fragmentary, lacking intonation, and this immediately attracts attention. Although there are deaf people who speak very well, and you will not determine that he cannot hear until you notice the hearing aid. IN oral speech For a hearing-impaired person, you can immediately notice pronunciation deficiencies, such as lisps.
A common feature is the desire to see the face of the interlocutor when communicating, to approach the interlocutor closer, to turn towards him with the better hearing ear or the ear where there is a hearing aid.
- What is a small thing for us, can be painful for a person with poor hearing. How can you accidentally offend a deaf person? How to avoid such awkward situations when communicating?
— The most comfortable position for deaf people when communicating is with one interlocutor face to face. Therefore, a deaf person is offended when no one looks at him or when he is casually waved away when he turns to a passerby for help.
They are also very sensitive to carelessness and haste in communication.
In order to understand the speaking interlocutor, they need more time; sometimes it is necessary to repeat what was said several times so that a deaf person can understand the interlocutor and read lips.
They can be offended by any random gesture or facial expression, which they can explain as disdain for themselves. For many deaf people, there is a persistent feeling of mistrust of hearing people and a feeling of weakness in comparison with them, the belief that hearing people consider them inferior and use them.
— What problems do people with poor hearing most often encounter?
“First of all, they face difficulties in obtaining the information they need about current events and changes in society, and difficulties in conveying information about their problems.
Deaf community in developed countries of the world is equated to a national minority with its own language and culture. Sign language is considered the native language of the deaf as a language that can be acquired without special instruction. In our country, only a few years ago the sign language of the deaf was recognized at the state level as the official language of the deaf community. This means that in all public events and when officials speak, there must be sign translation. Moreover, representatives of public professions (for example, social worker, nurse, police officer) must have basic knowledge of sign language. But this is still a long way off in Russia - there are clearly not enough sign interpreters and teachers.
— How to help when a deaf person asks for help, but you don’t know sign language? How to convey information as correctly as possible?
— The easiest way to communicate with a deaf person is written speech. If during such communication you do not have paper and pen at hand, you can communicate using text on mobile phone. That’s why written announcements at metro stations, bus stops, train stations and other public places where people are kept are so important. necessary information. This is especially important if some unexpected events occur.
A universal way of communication is pantomime and natural facial expressions and gestures, with the help of which you can always show your friendly attention and desire to help.
When communicating verbally orally or in writing, it is important to use concise and simple sentences. You need to understand that deaf people can read speech from the lips of their interlocutor, but for most of them this is quite difficult. Therefore, it is important to clearly articulate and repeat words several times if the interlocutor does not understand. For example, you can say (write): “Help?” or "What happened?"
Most often, when a deaf passerby approaches you on the street, he needs basic help in orientation. In a store or bank, seeing a person’s confusion from the outside and realizing that he does not hear well, you can become an intermediary and simply turn to the employee to explain that he is dealing with a deaf person and it is better for him to switch to written communication with him.
Interviewed by Alina Kuramshina
If you hear some sounds that other people cannot hear, this does not mean that you are having auditory hallucinations and it’s time to see a psychiatrist. Perhaps you belong to the category of so-called “hammers”. The term comes from English word“hum” (“hum, buzz, buzz”).
Strange complaints
The phenomenon was first noticed in the 50s of the last century: people living in different parts of the planet complained that they constantly heard a certain uniform humming sound. Most often, residents of rural areas talked about this. They claimed that the strange sound intensifies at night (apparently because at this time the overall sound background decreases). Those who heard it often experienced side effects – headache, nausea, dizziness, nosebleeds and insomnia.
In 1970, 800 Britons complained about a mysterious noise. Similar episodes also occurred in New Mexico and Sydney.
In 2003, acoustics specialist Jeff Leventhal discovered that only 2% of all inhabitants of the Earth can hear strange sounds. Mostly these are people aged 55 to 70 years. In one case, a Hamer even committed suicide because he could not bear the incessant noise.
“It’s a kind of torture, sometimes you just want to scream,” this is how Katie Jacques from Leeds (Great Britain) described her feelings. - It's hard to sleep because I hear this pulsating sound continuously. You start tossing and turning and think about it even more.”
Where is the noise coming from?
Researchers have been trying to find the source of the noise for a long time. In the early 1990s, researchers at the Los Alamos National Laboratory at the University of New Mexico concluded that hummers heard sounds from moving vehicles and factories. But this version is controversial: after all, as mentioned above, most Hamers live in rural areas.
According to another version, there is actually no hum: it is an illusion generated by a diseased brain. Finally, the most interesting hypothesis suggests that some people exhibit high sensitivity to low-frequency electromagnetic radiation or seismic activity. That is, they hear the “hum of the Earth,” which most people do not pay attention to.
Paradoxes of hearing
The fact is that the average person is able to perceive sounds in the range from 16 hertz to 20 kilohertz, if sound vibrations are transmitted through the air. When sound is transmitted through the bones of the skull, the range increases to 220 kilohertz.
For example, the vibrations of the human voice can vary between 300-4000 hertz. We perceive sounds above 20,000 hertz worse. And fluctuations below 60 hertz are perceived by us as vibrations. High frequencies are called ultrasound, low frequencies are called infrasound.
Not all people respond the same way to different sound frequencies. This depends on many individual factors: age, gender, heredity, the presence of hearing pathologies, etc. Thus, it is known that there are people capable of perceiving high-frequency sounds - up to 22 kilohertz and higher. At the same time, animals are sometimes able to hear acoustic vibrations in a range inaccessible to humans: the bats use ultrasound for echolocation during flight, and whales and elephants supposedly communicate with each other using infrasonic vibrations. [С-BLOCK]
At the beginning of 2011, Israeli scientists found that in the human brain there are special groups of neurons that allow one to estimate the pitch of a sound down to 0.1 tones. In most animal species, with the exception of bats, there are no such “devices”. With age, due to changes in the inner ear, people begin to perceive high frequencies worse and develop sensorineural hearing loss.
But, apparently, not everything is so simple with our brain, since over the years some people stop hearing even ordinary sounds, while others, on the contrary, begin to hear what is inaccessible to the ears of others. [С-BLOCK]
How can we help the Hamers, since they suffer so much from their “gift”? A number of experts believe that so-called cognitive behavioral therapy could cure them. But it can only work if the problem is related exclusively to the person’s mental state. And if not?
Jeff Leventhal notes that today the Hamer phenomenon is one of the mysteries whose solution has not yet been found.
Often spouses who turn to a psychologist for advice complain that they cannot hear each other.
They talk, listen, try to understand, but everything is in vain. Why? In psychology, there are many theories that contain different opinions about what are the reasons for partners’ inattention to each other.
Psychologists answer the question something like this: “A man and a woman are two separate world. With different generic scenarios and family settings formed in childhood. Everyone has their own personal characteristics, their own character and traumatic childhood experiences. By getting rid of traumas, false attitudes and realizing birth scenarios, you can begin to hear and understand your partner, thereby improving your relationship.”
What will Yuri Burlan’s System-Vector Psychology say about this? Will awareness of scripted behavior really bring partners closer to understanding and help them hear each other? Or maybe the reasons are completely different?
Everyone wants to be happy
People find the greatest happiness in opposite-sex couples. This is how nature intended it. A man and a woman, despite external and internal differences, having united, are able to feel incredible pleasure from communicating with each other.
Every person by nature is an egoist who is aware only of himself. He wants happiness for himself and does not want to think about others. For the first time he begins to feel another person through hostility. When he doesn’t give him happiness, doesn’t want to please him, he contradicts. Then the person suddenly realizes that there is another who is preventing him from being happy. This is where the desire to fight it arises. Words, actions, manipulations, intrigues and scandals, bribery and blackmail are used. Whatever comes to mind is used. He wants to achieve what he wants for himself and cannot understand why his partner does not make him happy.
As long as everyone thinks only about themselves, wants happiness for themselves, it will not be possible to hear each other. But, if the spouses nevertheless came for a consultation with a psychologist, it means that they want to hear each other and are ready to work on themselves.
In a couple, only the two of you can be happy. If you understand this, then each partner will try to fulfill the desires of the other. In this case, the relationship has a chance to develop. If partners want to invest equally in the relationship, dream of hearing and understanding each other, and giving joy to the other, then they have every chance of being a truly happy couple.
How to hear each other
There is no other methodology other than System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan, which could describe in such an understandable way inner world each person. And give the opportunity to understand the reasons for the actions of another. Without understanding characteristic features It is very difficult to maintain a relationship with a partner. You can also live your life in conflicts and problems, but the quality of this life will be completely different than if you build it on mutual understanding and trust.
Every person is, first of all, a desire. He wants to enjoy life. And if a woman knows what her man needs, truly understands what he wants, it’s as if she penetrates his inner world and creates in him everything that leads a man to satisfaction. Your partner can do the same. He himself will suffer if close person doesn't get what he dreams of.
Without the ability to speak correctly to each other and hear what was said, three years after meeting, relationships based on the smell of pheromones may cease or become routine. They will cease to excite, play with colors, and excite.
It’s not difficult to hear each other - the main thing is to want to meet each other halfway, give in at the right moment and understand the reason why a person acts in a certain way. You can also hear your loved one with your heart, which sometimes speaks better than the most beautiful speech. The main thing is to know what to say, how to say it and when.
Feel - to hear and understand
Visual people do not allow themselves to cry; for years they hide their experiences inside behind a high fence of insensitivity and ostentatious indifference. And only when they start crying, talking about feelings, talking about their experiences, their world becomes different, and their relationship with their partner changes for the better.
Each person has his own special properties and his own task. Without understanding their own or other people’s desires, partners demand the impossible from each other. The leather worker is forced to take care of the children and the house, the owner of the anal vector is driven into business. A man can demand that his skin-visual wife perform household duties, cook, and reproach her for the lack of maternal instinct, which she simply does not have. And she hurries her husband with the anal vector, knocking him out of the measured rhythm. That's how they live. Every day destroying each other in word and deed.
Words can cure
We don’t even think about the impact a word has on a person. We speak, but they don’t hear us. They tell us, but we don’t hear. We can't make out the meaning of the words. Or, on the contrary, we hear the meaning of what was said behind the words, and if this meaning carries insult, sarcasm, an unflattering attitude towards us or other people, we do not want to hear it. We isolate ourselves from our partner and try to avoid communication.
Today the word is devalued even among the masses. What happens in society affects the family. Freedom of speech has led to the fact that one can say anything without thinking about the kind of charge that is said.
Today, everyone who is not too lazy says and writes nasty things, so the word loses its original value.
In order not to cause themselves unnecessary discomfort and suffering, people stopped hearing each other. A person does not want to listen even to the good, and even more so to the bad.
If the owner of the anal vector listens to everything that his skin wife sometimes tells him, he may get a heart attack. He takes everything to heart - that's the kind of person he is. Doesn't listen because he's protecting himself.
It is very important for people to know what they can and cannot say. And how to speak is also necessary to understand.
This is especially true for people who have a sound vector. They have very sensitive ears. An offensive word spoken even in a whisper can hurt so much that it will turn your partner away forever. For example, such words include swearing.
A person with a sound vector is one for whom bodily joys are secondary. In the first place in a relationship there is spiritual closeness, the feeling that the partners are one whole. For such a person, silence and the deep meaning of everything that happens to him are important. A a swear word- it's about the sexual.
If a person, especially a woman, hears swearing or offensive speech, he takes it personally. Swearing hurts and devalues the most sacred relationships. And on the owners of the sound vector, swearing has an even more destructive effect.
Without knowing each other's characteristics, partners can hurt with words in such a way that it will be very difficult to restore the relationship. What goes unnoticed by one person may be painful for another. One rude word can destroy all the good things in a relationship. Conversely, pleasant, positive, supportive words inspire, make a partner stronger, and help overcome adversity.
Nobody likes to hear insults directed at them. Everyone wants to be loved and enjoy living together. By violating the laws of partnerships, people get a consequence that they do not like. And only awareness of the reasons why a person thinks, speaks or acts in a certain way can radically change the situation and direct relationships in a peaceful direction.
What do you want to hear?
We know that everyone is different, but we don't understand what that really means. Everyone has their own innate desires and properties, called vectors. Systemic vector psychology explains that if you sincerely say to a man with an anal vector: “I respect you, you’re great,” you can easily rectify the conflict. To say that he is the best is a balm for his soul. After all, he is, indeed, by nature the most best husband, father and even stepfather.
If these same words are applied to a partner who has a urethral vector, then you can lose his favor. For him, such praise is humiliating. Such a man cannot be compared with others and doubted. He is the leader and must always be first.
For the owner of the skin vector, a career and a high financial position are important. Talking to him about family holidays and everyday life, you can see the boredom in his eyes. To be able to interest such a man, you need to know his deepest desires.
The owner of the visual vector can be easily won over and won her attention. It is worth saying: “You are so beautiful,” and even giving flowers, and all her attention will be directed towards her partner. Positive emotions are a feeling of immense happiness for such a woman. And the more such emotions she experiences, the more beautiful and happier her life is.
Everyone wants to hear from a partner what is pleasant for him - words that correspond to his individual idea of the world, his values. Knowing the character traits and understanding the desires of the spouse, sometimes there is no need for long conversations, which for some seem pointless.
You can know one or two words that this moment you need to tell your loved one, and the hopeless situation becomes fixable.
What is allowed to be said
The emotional background in a relationship depends on the woman. Therefore, most often it is women who turn to a psychologist for help. Their interest in preserving the marriage is due to nature. A woman receives a feeling of security and safety from her husband and passes this feeling on to her children. The fortunes of each family member are interdependent. If a woman is in good emotional state, then other family members are doing well too.
Man and woman, really two different worlds with its bulges and depressions, which ideally should coincide, thereby creating new world, consisting of two halves of the soul. A complete picture called “happy family”. And such a merger can be achieved in every couple thanks to systemic knowledge.
Systemic vector psychology notes that a woman can always be desirable to a man, provided that there is a sensual, emotional connection between the partners. Which, even if you don’t work it out psychological trauma, will still serve for the benefit of family happiness for many years.
Mental intimacy allows a man to feel the desire and strength to give his woman everything she wants. This will help you overcome difficulties together if they arise. And live life in all its fullness and pleasure.
“I thought about a vacation - and my wife decided where we would go”
“...Before, I was simply infuriated that my wife did not devote enough time to her family, but spent it on her career and social life. “Where did you run, you fidgety little girl?” Better take care of the children,” I told her before. And now... Together we were able to agree and resolve this problem. Recently, I was finally able to understand why my wife’s career and social life are so important. Having understood the deep reason for her desires, I was able to accept them. Her behavior stopped annoying me. I managed to change my attitude towards my wife. The most amazing thing is that she also changed her attitude towards me. Previously, everyone spoke from their own point of view, and we were unable to agree. Recently we have been able to understand and accept the other’s point of view.”
Try it too! Register for the free online training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan using the link.
The article was written using materials from Yuri Burlan’s online training “System-vector psychology”
Chapter:
The topic of listening to other people's conversations is as old as time. Not only the special services, but also everyone who is not too lazy, tries to listen and eavesdrop. Along with this, the problem of protection against eavesdropping arises. Many have tried to solve it, but no one has yet achieved decisive success.
It is likely that the technology developed by American scientists working on the problem at one of the universities in Illinois will be successful. They created a unique phenomenon, a sound that is inaudible to the human ear, but perfectly perceived by almost any microphone. This seems completely incredible, but is a proven fact. The discovery is based on a thorough study of the nature of sound vibrations and their frequencies. Experimenting in this area, researchers combined several frequencies into one stream, which microphones hear as “white noise.” He hides from prying ears what the conversation is about!
At the same time, technically implementing effective protection against eavesdropping looks relatively simple. To generate signals with frequencies of about 40 kHz, only the presence of ultrasonic speakers is required. The microphones don't need any modifications at all.
Prospects for using technology
Without a doubt, they will be interested in the development special services. Surely, they are ready to pay well for this development to find application in their immediate work.
It is also very likely that the research results will attract criminals. Using them, you can, for example, literally silence all phones during a robbery or raid in no time.
The technology has already begun to be used in peaceful life. In Sweden, for example, an ambulance “silences” all sound-reproducing devices of neighboring cars, warning of its approach with a voice message.
The topic of audio is worth talking about human hearing in a little more detail. How subjective is our perception? Is it possible to have your hearing tested? Today you will learn the easiest way to find out whether your hearing fully corresponds to the table values.
It is known that the average person is able to perceive acoustic waves with the organs of hearing in the range from 16 to 20,000 Hz (depending on the source - 16,000 Hz). This range is called the audible range.
| 20 Hz | A hum that is only felt, but not heard. It is reproduced mainly by top-end audio systems, so in case of silence it is the one to blame |
| 30 Hz | If you can’t hear, most likely there are playback problems again |
| 40 Hz | It will be audible in budget and mid-price speakers. But it's very quiet |
| 50 Hz | Rumble electric current. Must be audible |
| 60 Hz | Audible (like everything up to 100 Hz, rather tangible due to reflection from the auditory canal) even through the cheapest headphones and speakers |
| 100 Hz | The end of the low frequencies. Beginning of direct audibility range |
| 200 Hz | Mid frequencies |
| 500 Hz | |
| 1 kHz | |
| 2 kHz | |
| 5 kHz | Beginning of high frequency range |
| 10 kHz | If this frequency is not heard, serious hearing problems are likely. Doctor's consultation required |
| 12 kHz | Inability to hear this frequency may indicate initial stage hearing loss |
| 15 kHz | A sound that some people over 60 cannot hear |
| 16 kHz | Unlike the previous one, this frequency is not heard by almost all people after 60 years of age |
| 17 kHz | Frequency is problematic for many already in middle age |
| 18 kHz | Problems with hearing this frequency are the beginning of age-related changes in hearing. Now you are an adult. :) |
| 19 kHz | Limit frequency of average hearing |
| 20 kHz | Only children can hear this frequency. Is it true |
»
This test is enough to give you a rough estimate, but if you can't hear sounds above 15 kHz, you should see a doctor.
Please note that the low frequency audibility problem is most likely related to .
Most often, the inscription on the box in the style of “Reproducible range: 1–25,000 Hz” is not even marketing, but an outright lie on the part of the manufacturer.
Unfortunately, companies are not required to certify all audio systems, so it is almost impossible to prove that this is a lie. Speakers or headphones may reproduce boundary frequencies... The question is how and at what volume.
Spectrum issues above 15 kHz are a fairly common age-related phenomenon that users are likely to encounter. But 20 kHz (the same ones that audiophiles fight so hard for) is usually heard only by children under 8–10 years old.
It is enough to listen to all files sequentially. For a more detailed study, you can play samples, starting with the minimum volume, gradually increasing it. This will allow you to get a more correct result if your hearing is already slightly damaged (remember that to perceive some frequencies you need to exceed a certain threshold value, which, as it were, opens and helps the hearing aid to hear it).
Do you hear the entire frequency range that is capable of?
